The past few months have been much of a roller coaster ride. Albeit exams are over and the undergraduate years are done, the storm is probably getting worst.
It has been very difficult for me personally to be able to contain my expressions and look for alternatives to utter these inquisitive thoughts, disagreements and emotions. The end of undergraduate school also meant the end of keeping yourself busy, diverting the negative energy into prolific circumstances that you could cherish and is of continuity rather than one of occurrences.
I miss those days where I barely had 4 hours of sleep and used to be preoccupied, had a long task list and was probably at my most productive phase of life. I was happy despite all the stress. I was able to find a channel to use my qualities, learn and grow at my own pace, plan my own day according to my daily goals and literally design my own life. That freedom is something that I cherish. The lack of personal space and outlet to do what I really want to do without being dependent is sucking this soul.
I have left debates, another alternative that was very much beautiful, gave me self satisfaction though I probably weren't the most sociable/happy/outgoing human being. But I was happy with my own crowd and friend choices I made.
I have been wanting to write for so long as I knew it would therapeutic as how it is now. Been trying to express via other platforms but the unstoppable societal perception and judgement though is relatively controllable via friend choices you make is there, but is never truly something one can escape from. 28 days left and the stress is immense. With so many other issues to handle and instabilities to deal with although I have clearly expressed my intentions, being in the environment too is a challenge, one that I need to overcome really quick as time is against me.
Taking this moment with solidarity, trying to remain composed.
Hoping that by satisfying this urge to write may keep the soul in peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment